*Newsflash* - you’re having this wedding because you two met, fell in love and are 100% sold on each other. Lovely stuff.
So who should you be prioritising when you’re making all your decisions? What the two of you want, or what your Aunty Betty thinks is ‘more appropriate’?
In 20 years time, you don’t want to look at your own wedding pictures and be thinking about someone else. Your wedding is a chance for you to celebrate what makes you two you two.
In the spirit of this, here are 10 ideas you can steal if you’d like to make your wedding less about traditions or expectations, and more about you.
1. Consider a Celebrant ✨
Celebrants are largely self-employed, and because of this will usually be able to spend more time getting to know you as a couple. This means that their services are bespoke to each couple, and tailored to what you both want from your ceremony.
Celebrants in Scotland are able to conduct legally binding ceremonies anywhere in Scotland. So if getting married atop a Munro sounds like your kinda thing, then a Celebrant can do that for you. Elsewhere in the UK, you’d have to combine your Celebrant ceremony with the legal bit which the Registrar does.
So for example, you can have a small, intimate ‘signing of the register’ type of service a couple of weeks before your bigger celebration, and have your Celebrant present to perform a service with your wider friends and family.
The thing about this is that you don’t have to tell your guests about what parts are legally binding and what aren’t - they’ll be witness to whatever type of ceremony you want to organise.
2. Include loved ones in your ceremony
There are loads of ways you can get friends and relatives involved in your ceremony - one of them is getting them to read something out, like a poem, a short story or a passage from a book.
If you’re not sure what to use, I’ve written personalised poems which have worked really well. I love them because they’re written only for you, and can include how and where you met, funny stories and anything else you want to include as part of your ceremony.
This is something I’ve done for Kate and Fraser, and this is what Kate had to say about it 🥰
I’ve just received the poem to be read at our wedding - IT’S AMAZING! It’s funny and sweet and I think it’s perfectly told our wee story...I’m so happy with the end result. Thank you Clare - love it!
It’s also a fab opportunity to ask someone who’s not in your bridal party to play an important part in your day, which might just make their day too.
If you're looking for a way to ask someone to do a reading at your wedding, ask them using my 'Will you do a reading?' poem ♥️
3. Call in favours
Is cousin Carol a mean cake maker? Does your pal Steven play guitar? Can your sister-in-law hold a tune?
My husband played bagpipes at his brother’s wedding. It was something both families absolutely loved, and still talk about. We also had my husband's grandma make our cake for us 🥹
Asking a loved one to contribute to your day will make those parts of the day mean even more to you. It can also be their wedding gift to you, which will mean so much to you and them.
4. Consider a pre-/post-wedding party
One year, we went to a wedding that ran over a weekend in June. They had use of the venue from the Friday, so the couple decided to host welcome food and drinks on the Friday evening.
This gave everyone a chance to meet and catch up before the big day on the Saturday. We brought our own bottle of something, and ordered about 20 Domino’s pizzas which went down a storm after most people had spent the day travelling to get there, or helping with the wedding set up.
We also played some Highland games on the grounds on the Sunday afternoon, which meant we could spend a little bit more time with our new found friends before we parted ways. (This was also a very good distraction for what was quite the hangover...I hear 😬)
4. Bespoke stationery
Your invitations/save the dates will be the first impression people will get about what to expect from your wedding. If you’ve got an idea in your head about how you’d like these to look, but you can’t seem to see it anywhere, ask a wedding stationer (hiyaaaa!) if they can work with you on a bespoke idea!
It’ll cost more, but it will mean that you’ll have something that’s tailored to your ideas, colours, size, theme and style.
I’ve had a bride’s brother sketch out her bouquet, which I’ve then incorporated into the design of the table plan and thank you cards. If it’s important to you, we’ll find a way to include it in your day!
Get in touch if you’d like to chat about your bespoke stationery ideas.
5. Ask someone to be your something blue 💙
This is such a lovely way to include someone in your wedding who may not be a part of your bridal party. Whether you ask them to wear a blue outfit, blue shoes, blue accessories or even blue nails, it'll definitely make someone's day to know they're playing a little part in yours ✨
OR, if you're planning to have your bridesmaids wear blue, then you can double up and ask them to be your something blue on the day too!
Whoever you're asking, you can use my 'Will you be my something blue?' poem to ask them 🥰
6. Name your tables after something meaningful
One of the very first weddings I worked on was for two of my friends, who had a travel-themed wedding. All their tables were named after countries they were travelling to during their 4-month honeymoon!
There are loads of other things you could use, like places you’ve already been/travelled to together, festivals you’ve been to, films you both love, books you’ve read, years, songs, bands or ages that mean something to you - the possibilities are endless! Have a brainstorm and see what you both come up with.
7. Both make a speech
It’s typically only one of you who gets up to make a speech at the wedding - but if you’re both feeling comfortable who’s to say you can’t both make one?
I was so nervous while I was making my speech at our wedding, but I'm so glad I took the opportunity! If you're having a big wedding there's just no way you can get round everyone, so I'm so pleased I decided to go for it.
You could also get up and do a joint speech, which will give you something else exciting to work on together!
8. Personalised drinks
When my friend Lesley married Stuart, we rocked up to the evening reception to be met with his n’ her’s cocktails 😍😍
Let's just say, a few 'Lesley's Cocktails' proved to be a great warm up for some ceilidh dancing later on...
9. Get yo’ craft on
If you’re also looking to save money where you can, crafting things for yourselves can make a massive difference, and you’ll have the added satisfaction of seeing them being used on your day.
For our wedding, we dried out flowers to use as confetti on the day 🎉 we also recruited lots of friends and family to do the same, so it was very much a joint labour of love 🥰
For centrepieces, you could recycle old gin/wine/whisky bottles to pop some flowers in. And if you get through gin bottles at the same rate as we do then you won’t have any issues...and if you use bottles you've actually drank from, then your tables will be scattered with little memories of when you enjoyed them together 🥰
10. Prioritise YOURSELVES
At the end of the day, just remember that this is YOUR wedding, so the best thing you can do to make your wedding more personal is to make sure you’re doing what YOU want to do! That way, when you get to your day you can look around and know you’ve planned yourselves the day YOU wanted.
So before you book any supplier, service or venue, stop and make sure you’re making the decision based on your preference, and not anyone else’s!
If you'd like to chat to me about working together on your wedding, I'd love to hear from you! Email me, fill out this form or message me on Facebook or Instagram ✨
Happy planning! 🥰